So, a couple things, this was meant to be a way to unload the image, store the image, save the image, and then not see the image anymore, and ultimately, I think it succeeded. I had a terrible day for a couple days, and then I drank some energy drink, and I drank some gin, and now I feel normal again. And it's really done and through. It's over. There's a sense of finality in it. I think I had to endure one last moment before I could call it good, but I'm ready to look forward to things instead of constantly looking backward. It's become obvious to me now, having read this blog, and lived my life, that I spent approximately 5x as much time recovering from that momentary intense relationship as I did living through it. That's really silly. If she wants me to see Her again, she can tell me, but that's not really my decision at the moment. She might have given me something, but I've got to spend my days using that gift instead of mailing her 1000 thank you cards written in cerebrospinal fluid. Someone told me that maybe I have already paid off my debts. She told me once that obviously this meant a lot more to me than it did to her. I think it's all square, it's even. I'm declaring myself debt free today.