Fear has gripped my life for too long, and so now I will recount things I have done that have made me happy now that I've ignored fear. Flipping off a cybertruck owner at midnight. Drinking box wine out of a mason jar. Playing music on my phone without headphones in public. Deadvoicing when I break down during a song. Cutting my hair into a hime cut without looking anything up. Thinking of getting a tattoo that makes my arm look like a porcelain / wooden doll. Texting my friends. Calling my friends. Eating way too much cheese. Getting pizza delivery. Cutting my hair into a Ramona Book 6 because my Hime looked bad. Staying up late. Playing piano poorly in public. Eating too much hummus. Listening to the Bayonetta soundtrack even though it's problematic. Looking at woman in Richter costume. Arranging the Bayonetta soundtrack. Taking the post surgery clips off my nipples by force before I'm supposed to. Intellectualizing my own suffering. Getting drunk and jerkin it. Having drunken esex with 4channers (hit me up if you want to have sex pls, surely this will fill the void where my soul is supposed to be). Scheduling meetings with 4channers. Planning on becoming a catholic convert but not actually doing it! BEING BIPOLAR!!! LOVING PEOPLE EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE DONE EVIL TO ME (I HAVE DONE EVIL TO THEM TOO)! KEEPING MY SUICIDE PLANS IN OTHER PEOPLE'S HOUSES SO I CAN'T KILL MYSELF!