It’s come to my attention that our relationship has changed dramatically now that we’re not in a “situationship.” I firmly believe that what you did to me was manipulative and that you enjoyed it. I also believe you enjoyed knowing that you were “beating” [REDACTED], that I was willing to give up so much for you. You knew you were lovebombing me. You knew that you had an issue with this. You were even doing it to someone else at the same time. I think you repeatedly chose words that made me feel just enough to want you more, but never feel secure. I know you are smart enough to squish my dumb brain in whatever way you want, and I can’t really do anything about it.
(Un?)fortunately, I also enjoyed it. I’ve gone back and forth on this in my mind. Ultimately, as long as I can come into it without the expectation of anything long lasting, and I know that, I’m willing to be used again. I’m willing to follow you wherever you lead me. I understand that you manipulated me, that you toyed with me, but I liked it, and I’m sorry I made you decide on committing. I’d gladly go back to being your “situationship,” and I promise I’ll never get mad over it, or make you feel like you’re in trouble. I’m giving you guilt free permission to fuck with me, to play with me, to manipulate and do whatever you want with me because I miss it. I miss when we could share a silence comfortably and you wouldn’t ask if I was mad at you. I miss when you knew actively that I was under your control. We don’t have to do anything, we don’t have to kiss. I’d like to be poly when this happens, but if you say so I’d even be mono for your game. I just really miss seeing you smile more.