John G Found

I've got a new theory about the Obvious Exception. It's simple, and I can state it only using facts, with easy lines you draw between them.

It's a Just So story. Here is John G.

She has a flirting addiction. She tries to maximize emotions elicited.

I have an emotion addiction. I can't (read: refuse to) stop my emotions when I feel them.

She has issues with committing to relationships

I have issues overcomitting to relationships

She flirted with me and provided me emotions I did not need to try to experience. In fact, she repeatedly gave me experiences that I had to choose to suppress, which I refused to do. Speculation takes over here, but I think she's attracted to the chase, to the feeling of winning someone over because it means she can't be left behind. I think she's very scared of people leaving her or of them hating her, but if she can draw them to her, she doesn't have to worry about that. It's not malicious or anything, it's survival; it's the same for me. Ex Husband put us in an awkward position; it was all or nothing. Hedgehogs dilemma, she wanted something in the middle, but I wanted something all the way in. I wanted her spines to penetrate my skin until I bled onto her, because I did not think of myself as a hedgehog who could hurt others. I thought of myself as the only gerbil, completely ignorant of my own spines I was digging into her. When she executes her flirting addiction, it's with the assumption people will eventually want to move away, not towards. This conflict puts them in the middle, in her goldilocks zone that I can't find. It's a default that doesn't work with me. Not that we can't find a solution but there it is: what happened, where nobody is evil, that aligns with the understood axial difference.

To learn this new program takes time and effort. I'm not sure how it's going. We went on a walk, and that was nice enough, but there were some awkward moments to say the least. Programs clashing, not understanding what was said, (or perhaps understanding too much?). If I could change my program, would I even like it? I don't think so. "Embrace the life affirming, with insight and fortitude." So now I see, I have created insight. And I don't think this path is life affirming.